Zaimat Bayero- "Fifteen Minutes (A poem about Rape)"

It was just you and I  

In a dark room 

 You looking scary, and I looking terrified 

It was you holding my hands,

 While covering my mouth.

It was you, the funny guy,

 That I never once get your jokes, since they were always so expensive, 

Because it was always about what you would do to a female

 When you get alone with her. 

It was just me and you 

 In an unknown place that I never consent to. 

And it didn’t matter how many layers of clothes I got on,

 You managed to take them off

It didn’t matter how long my sleeves were 

 You managed to roll them up 

It didn’t matter how long and tight my jeans were,

 You managed to rip it up.

It didn’t matter how much tears were in my eyes,

 It wouldn’t make you stop.

It was just me and you in this dark room 

 Different thoughts going through my head 

I didn’t know this was how it is going to end 

 I’ve been saving this for the right time,

And the right person

But you just wanted to let out your frustrations,

 Not caring that I’m not the cause

And after 15 minutes of me being in pain,

Fifteen minutes of slaps and punches 

Fifteen minutes of cries and screams 

After fifteen minutes of you being superior and me being inferior 

Fifteen minutes of you not putting my feelings into consideration

Fifteen minutes of you getting what you want 

 By taking what is mine 

That I didn’t feel like giving away, 

After fifteen minutes of me being in different position that I wasn’t comfortable with. 

 Fifteen minutes of me begging you to stop,

After your fifteen minutes of fun was over, 

 You wanted to beg. 

 You wanted to beg me not to tell

You didn’t want me to tell the world of the traumatizing experience you put me through

 You wanted to ask me for forgiveness after you’re done getting what you wanted 

But when those fifteen minutes were over 

 After my tears are all dried 

After my bruises are all healed 

My thoughts getting itself together 

 Deciding whether to speak or to be silenced. 

After your fifteen minutes of fun was over 

 After I was done debating whether my life was worth it or not. 

 Since you’ve made me realize that my thoughts didn’t even matter, 

 After you’ve made me feel like I don’t have the right to choose what happens. 

 I decided to be strong.

I refused to let you choose the direction my life was going. 

 

So I decided to talk, 

 I refused to let you put fear in my mind 

Because it’s not my fault. 

 Because this time my dress wasn’t too short 

My skirt wasn’t too tight 

 My shirt wasn’t too revealing 

And I most definitely did not enjoy it.