Ramadan Vlog Day 2

https://youtu.be/tF5jvRlEvCY

Zaimat Bayero - Breathe

Sometimes, I forget to breathe

 I get so caught up in the moment 

My eyes set on one thing, and one thing only,

 The scenery turns into a blur 

And you turn into the main focus 

 I forget to breathe.

 

With my eyes intertwined with yours 

 My mouth starts to drool 

My mouth forgets how to swallow 

 The little things that I do every day 

The things that I didn’t need to be taught 

 But with you in front of me, 

I don’t remember how I’m supposed to do anything,

 Just like breathing.

The elegance in your walk,

 The peacefulness in your smile 

The heavenly feeling that comes with your existence,

 All these things about you, 

That you don’t even appreciate, 

 These are the basic things you do,

That keeps making me struggle to breathe.

I open my mouth to talk, 

 But I have forgotten all the words I’ve learned 

Staring at your luscious lips 

  I can’t imagine making a sound 

With my whole body calling you, 

 Except my mouth,

My mouth just won’t call your name. 

 Just like my lungs just won’t breathe. 

With every step you take,

 A piece of my heart is following you, 

But my legs won’t move,

 I don’t want you to leave,

But my feet refuse to walk,

It’s now difficult to move 

 My legs have forgotten how to walk 

And my lungs just won’t breathe.

My mind forgotten how to think 

 My mouth forgotten how to talk 

My legs forget how to walk 

I have just forgotten how to live, 

 Just like my eyes forgot how to blink 

When I see you going with somebody else,

 My emotions loses control of itself 

And my eyes start to water.

 I have forgotten how to stop.

When I want you, but you don’t want me back. 

I have forgotten not to love,

 Like I didn’t tell myself a million times already 

love only brings you pain. 

 I have forgotten not to cry. 

Because tears only show weakness.

 I could not remember how to be strong.

Until you walked away, 

 I could not remember how to breathe.

Just breathe. 

Zaimat Bayero- "Fifteen Minutes (A poem about Rape)"

It was just you and I  

In a dark room 

 You looking scary, and I looking terrified 

It was you holding my hands,

 While covering my mouth.

It was you, the funny guy,

 That I never once get your jokes, since they were always so expensive, 

Because it was always about what you would do to a female

 When you get alone with her. 

It was just me and you 

 In an unknown place that I never consent to. 

And it didn’t matter how many layers of clothes I got on,

 You managed to take them off

It didn’t matter how long my sleeves were 

 You managed to roll them up 

It didn’t matter how long and tight my jeans were,

 You managed to rip it up.

It didn’t matter how much tears were in my eyes,

 It wouldn’t make you stop.

It was just me and you in this dark room 

 Different thoughts going through my head 

I didn’t know this was how it is going to end 

 I’ve been saving this for the right time,

And the right person

But you just wanted to let out your frustrations,

 Not caring that I’m not the cause

And after 15 minutes of me being in pain,

Fifteen minutes of slaps and punches 

Fifteen minutes of cries and screams 

After fifteen minutes of you being superior and me being inferior 

Fifteen minutes of you not putting my feelings into consideration

Fifteen minutes of you getting what you want 

 By taking what is mine 

That I didn’t feel like giving away, 

After fifteen minutes of me being in different position that I wasn’t comfortable with. 

 Fifteen minutes of me begging you to stop,

After your fifteen minutes of fun was over, 

 You wanted to beg. 

 You wanted to beg me not to tell

You didn’t want me to tell the world of the traumatizing experience you put me through

 You wanted to ask me for forgiveness after you’re done getting what you wanted 

But when those fifteen minutes were over 

 After my tears are all dried 

After my bruises are all healed 

My thoughts getting itself together 

 Deciding whether to speak or to be silenced. 

After your fifteen minutes of fun was over 

 After I was done debating whether my life was worth it or not. 

 Since you’ve made me realize that my thoughts didn’t even matter, 

 After you’ve made me feel like I don’t have the right to choose what happens. 

 I decided to be strong.

I refused to let you choose the direction my life was going. 

 

So I decided to talk, 

 I refused to let you put fear in my mind 

Because it’s not my fault. 

 Because this time my dress wasn’t too short 

My skirt wasn’t too tight 

 My shirt wasn’t too revealing 

And I most definitely did not enjoy it.